Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Recipe: Not for the Faint of Heart
Sometimes, the simplest ingredients make for the best results.
Here's a very simple recipe that I'm trying for the third time in the last couple of months.
Ingredients:
- Water. Lots and lots of water.
Directions:
- Pour water into pots, or fill an electric kettle. Or two.
- Wait for the water to boil, while thinking to yourself "Ah, I should have used warm tap water to make it faster!".
- Bring water to a boil - better to have several pots/kettles, so they can boil in parallel- you'll need it soon!
- Turn burner to maximum temperature.
- Carefully carry pot with boiling water to the backyard.
- Pour water on the highway of swarming ants that are walking along the rim of the cement under cover of the night.
- Concentrate first on those carrying big white eggs, those with wings (queens to be) and those that are bigger (the fat-ass VIPs of the colony who came out of the nest to give emergency orders).
- Return to kitchen.
- Refill pot (this time with warm tap water!), put on burner.
- Take next pot outside. You know what to do.
- Repeat forever - or until you are exhausted.
- Drive away any remorseful thoughts of barbarism.
- Ignore the itchy feeling you suddenly get all over your body. This is psychosomatic. ,
- Hope that ants do not hold grudge. They know where you live.
For a special treat, if you see a veeeeeeeeeery big and long ant with a lot of ants trying to lead her somewhere safe - go for it! it may very well be the queen. Don't forget to courteously bow before sending her to the queens' heaven. She is, after all, royalty.
It's 2am now, and I am after 4 rounds of the above.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Good night.
Labels: Damn Technology, Nature, Scary, This Old House, WTF?
# posted by Nava @ 1:46 AM 
Comments:
Dear, Antilla the Huntress:
Definitely a 'fuzzy diddums' experience.
Now do you have a recipe for interior dwellers - I can't pour boiling water over the rug!! My ants are sophisticated, they only send out scouts....but many of them in different locations.
Hope you have many antless years to come. Valerie
# posted by 
: 5/07/2008 10:34 AM
Hmmm - now she's out stalking around in the backyard at night with a flashlight.
And then muttering to herself, bowing to the insects.
And bowling water, and bringing it out.
Are you really trying to kill ants, or is this some bizarre new (old?) religion?
Or are you just going crazy?
Or is the muttering you talking on a cellphone headset while doing other stuff...
I think we should take votes on:
a) Pschyo-Ant Killer
b) Bizarre Religion
c) Crazy Wife
Valerie, Very fuzzy... swarming with fuzz! and they keep coming - judging by the amounts, I think I may have found the International conference center of all ants during the most attended summit, which they are throwing for discussion of how to take over the world. As for ants inside - hmm...
The JohnnyB, Oh dearly beloved husband who was snoring peacefully while I was fighting those critters alone. Out side. In the dark. Uphill. How easy it is to mock the ones who are doing the work, eh?
the ants are our friends
killing them makes misery
long nights, scary days
.
lol! I'm just glad I'm not a home owner!
So, did it work? I'm voting for Psycho Ant-Killer, clearly. I found ants in my ktichen this AM, would you like to come psychotically stalk my ants too? Pretty please?
I hear that when people die, all the ants and insects they killed during their life are waiting for them. Something to think about.
# posted by : 5/12/2008 1:17 PM
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Definitely a 'fuzzy diddums' experience.
Now do you have a recipe for interior dwellers - I can't pour boiling water over the rug!! My ants are sophisticated, they only send out scouts....but many of them in different locations.
Hope you have many antless years to come. Valerie
# posted by : 5/07/2008 10:34 AM
: 5/07/2008 10:34 AM And then muttering to herself, bowing to the insects.
And bowling water, and bringing it out.
Are you really trying to kill ants, or is this some bizarre new (old?) religion?
Or are you just going crazy?
Or is the muttering you talking on a cellphone headset while doing other stuff...
I think we should take votes on:
a) Pschyo-Ant Killer
b) Bizarre Religion
c) Crazy Wife
The JohnnyB, Oh dearly beloved husband who was snoring peacefully while I was fighting those critters alone. Out side. In the dark. Uphill. How easy it is to mock the ones who are doing the work, eh?
killing them makes misery
long nights, scary days
.
lol! I'm just glad I'm not a home owner!
# posted by : 5/12/2008 1:17 PM
: 5/12/2008 1:17 PM 
