Thoughts in the USA

Wait! stop sneering...
Just to show you that I can be reasonable, like, once a year, let me tell you that in spite of the extreme temptation, I agreed that we should not get one of those stunning Apple laptops. Not only are they white (Ah, but soooooo amazingly gorgeous!), but that would mean purchasing a whole bunch of new Software packages.

As I was looking with yearning eyes at one laptop with an incredible screen resolution and a great design of the 'Enter' key, The JohnnyB went over the reasons why we would not get it:
First, it only has Core Dual - as opposed to Core 2 Dual. (what core? and how dual?? and why do we need 2 of them???).
And, although it has the highly desired 2GHz processor speed, it did not have a 2GB memory. Shocking, Eh!?

"But this does - and it's a Sony, and for anice price!", I victoriously pointed at another laptop, imagining us sitting cozily hand in hand (me and the latop, not The JohnnyB!!).
I even started to think of a catchy name for it.
"Yeah, but the memory only runs at 533 and not at 667, exclaimed the know-all, shredding my romantic dream to pieces.
Luckily for him, The JohnnyB knows his wife quite well by now, so he immediately pointed out that Sony laptops, trying to imitate the Apple ones, have white keyboards.
Which for me was enough reason to not get it.
No white keyboard for my Painter's fingers.

Towards the end, we saw a charming Toshiba.
"I want that one!", I tried one last time, but alas - that one did not have the SXGA-whatsit, plus its hard disk was running at 5400 RPM, which is shamefully low, as we all know(?).

And so, we left the store, with onyl the USB-hard-drive-whatshemacallit, and - as a small compensation for the disappointed me - a keychain laser pointer, which I am so going to use at our next critique group meeting! (See, told you I am easy to please).

And so, The JohnnyB went back to researching.

He almost ordered the laptop of his dreams online last evening (Velocity Micro, if you really need to know), but realized with terror that it would only ship on the 25th ('coz - if you've been paying attention - we want the Core 2 Dual, Eh?).
Trying to mitigate this very late date, he went for the "Live Chat" option on their website, launched a question - and never ever heard back from them.
Of course, he may have pushed the wrong button.
But, hey - The JohnnyB only tries once.
It was a very nice laptop, though.
Even came with 3 colorful detachable lids - none purple, but still!!!
And a T-shirt!
(I kid you not!!! they actually send you a T-shirt. XL).

Anyway - pissed at their shipping time, he started looking at another laptop (Gateway).
When I left for my choir group rehearsal, he was in the midst of a vehement debate with the options on their website. . .

But really, I should be grateful that The JohnnyB is looking for a laptop.

If it was up to him, he would invest all his days and nights trying to resurrect the one that died.
Which is fine with me - I can see how it can be fun (well, if I really try, and seriosuly concentrate, I guess I can eventually see that, or at least get a glimpse).

Still, I made a fervent plea to him, that he first looks for a new, living, breathing laptop, before he goes to the black magic of reincarnating the old one.
After all, I know what and who I am dealing with...
I mean, he already got on eBay the tiny part that caused all the mess, and is awaiting its arrival.

"Why don't you take it to those companies that retrieve the contents of hard disks for you?", I asked after he came back from a long struggle with the computer, all dusty and cranky.
"Because they charge $100 for it!!!", he replied, giving me the famous look.

That famous look that's filled with masculine confidence.
Y'know, the one that exudes "WTF do you, little woman, understand in this manly business?".
That same look that means I need to get into a red alert.
The look which signals a great blog is on the way.
Actually, great for you... sighful for me.

'cause it's the very same famous look he gave me when he refused to call the electrician . . .
. . . and later, the firefighters . . .

And it's not because he is cheap.
So far, he spent $20 plus tax on that USB hard disk thingy.
And 12 hours of the rarely sunny first day of 2007.
Plus many of cigarettes.
To no avail.

And for those of you who are about to jump to his defense (you know who you are! Yes, you!!), let me add this little anecdote:
As he was going through the options of the Gateway laptop, The JohnnyB asked me if I think we should go for the 2-year-on-site warranty ($150) or the 3-year-mail-in warranty (also $150).
I did not even bother to activate my brain cells. Why tire the little things?
I knew it was a rhetorical question.
I knew he wouldn't go for either of these two.

"Why not?", you ask, your forehead wrinkled with wonder.
Oh, what an amazing coincidence!
What a Kodak-moment of great-minds-think-alike and other cliches!!
Would you believe that I asked him the very same question!?

And The JohnnyB said: (now, listen carefully to this):

"Because if something goes wrong after the free one year warranty is over, I'll just take it to a local store and have them fix it...".

"?????????????", wondered his doe-eyed wife, speechless with utter astonishment at the sheer lack of realism on his account.
"OK", he corrected himself, with the somewhat-overused smile that always gets him out of trouble, "In case I cannot resolve it myself".

Some dull moments... Is it really too much to ask, for the New Year?

Epilogue:
This blog was almost ready for posting.
Then I came back from my choir group rehearsal, all cheery and humming, to learn that during the 3 hours I was gone, unattainable things have taken place, and an incredible tale is to be told!!!

But - to assure you hear it first-hand, and not as a hearsay, I shall now refer you to the hero of the evening: The JohnnyB himself, right here.
I hear he is using somewhat more accurate technical details.
And he even posted some cool pictures (courtesy of his lovely wife). . .

Labels: Damn Technology, Wonders of The JohnnyB

# posted by Nava @ 11:30 PM