Monday, December 03, 2007
Sentence of The Month: December
The doorbell rang.
Looking through the window, I saw two teenaged girls at the door, assuming that tiresome we-want-your-money position.
I was in a bad mood. I didn't even open the door.
"Yes?", I said impatiently.
"Ah...", squeaked the one who was playing with her hair, "...we were wondering: did someone already knock on your door today and, with an annoying voice, already ask you to - - - "
I cut her in mid-sentence. I wasn't in the mood for pretense cutesiness; as a matter fact, I was in no mood for anything, so I pointed at the very strict "No Soliciting" sign that adorns our kitchen window.
Her eyes filled with question marks.
"We have a 'No Soliciting' sign - right here, see?", I combined pointing with close captioning.
"Huh?", she pondered, chewing on her hair.
"W-e . h-a-v-e . a . 'N-o . S-o-l-i-c-i-t-i-n-g' . s-i-g-n", I repeated, slower, giving her the benefit of the accent (mine).
"I thought that means 'No Smoking'?!", she shared her profound thoughts with me, still chewing.
So much for benefit... Plus, by now, I figured the two of them were finalists in the blank expression contest.
"No", I volunteered to educate the uninitiated, "it pretty much means do-not-knock-on-our-door-offering-us-something".
"Huh?", she started chewing on a new lock of hair, moving to a philosophical debate, "are you sure it does not mean 'No Smoking' in Spanish?".
(OK, a disclaimer here: I realize it could have been a wonderful opportunity for a highly amusing conversation. And yet - did I mention I was not in the mood?)
"I have no idea what it means in Spanish", I said, "but in English it means DO NOT KNOCK ON OUR DOOR OFFERING US ANYTHING!". Oh yeah, I can be a bitch.
Three interesting facts:
1. Not for a second did the talkative teenager stop chewing her hair. (alas, her friend had too short a hair to join her in the feast)
2. Only when I turned my back to them, I realized they were not only finalists, but very probably the winners of that expression contest. Why? 'cause they did not just go for a blank, empty expression. Oh no. They went way beyond it.
3. This charming conversation did not cheer me up as much as I thought it should.
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Labels: Languages, People, Profoundness, Sentence of The Month, Stating The Obvious, WTF?
Great conversation.
I wonder what their version of it would be. "Some lady with an accent told us not to smoke and we didn't even have our cigerettes out."
Funny, yet frightening.
Only I do not think they'd use the word 'lady' in their version... ;-)
It was almost frightening, indeed.
You need make a sign with a person with that same dumb expression and put it in one of those red circles with the slash through it, then for good measure, also post one with a cigarette and a slash through it.
Or change your sign to "No Stupidity"
We also have a very explicit sign (no salespeople, lawn-mowers, leaf-rakers, or snow-shovelers, and I'm thinking of adding Jehovah's Witnesses) just in case they don't know what solicitor means, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I like Blueberry's suggestion.
Our municipality also requires a solicitor's license, but I've yet to have anybody produce one.
# posted by 
: 12/04/2007 4:53 AM
wild, n.
you gottem too. i guess those two are probably just entering post traumatic stress. they'll have bad dreams for 18 months and never be able to knock on a door again.
strangely teenage girls don't actually bother me and try to sell me anything.
can't think why. must be the blonde scalps hanging from my belt.
i have a blogger etiquette issue that i need to consult you on. could you please check the last place you left a comment for me.
peace and love
Blueberry, Charming idea - both the dumb expression sign and the smoking one, just to be in the safe side.
Mysterious EmeraldEyes, welcome to my blog! We have too small a house for such an elaborate sign ;-)
Harpwales, Blond scalps hanging from your belt - now THAT's efficient. I am assuming those scalps are of teenagers who insisted on smoking on your premises...
You cut the story off too sooooooon. I need resolution. Was there a door slam? Was there more confusion? Was there a spanish profanity said under their breath? Come on!!!
Daniel - you're alive!!!
OK then, just for you:
There was no door slam; I never opened the door for them.
There was a lot more confusion in their eyes as I turned my back to them and ended the conversation.
And no, I don't think they speak Spanish. C'mon, learning a second language does require some brain activity!
lol! indeed!
But, I mean seriously, you really don't like talkin' to shmucks who come a'knockin' to sell you stuff? Really?! I mean, like, not even Teh Witnesses? Or Teh Mormons?
Wow...
Oh well. Musta justa been that mood.
:)
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I wonder what their version of it would be. "Some lady with an accent told us not to smoke and we didn't even have our cigerettes out."
Funny, yet frightening.
It was almost frightening, indeed.
Or change your sign to "No Stupidity"
Our municipality also requires a solicitor's license, but I've yet to have anybody produce one.
: 12/04/2007 4:53 AM you gottem too. i guess those two are probably just entering post traumatic stress. they'll have bad dreams for 18 months and never be able to knock on a door again.
strangely teenage girls don't actually bother me and try to sell me anything.
can't think why. must be the blonde scalps hanging from my belt.
i have a blogger etiquette issue that i need to consult you on. could you please check the last place you left a comment for me.
peace and love
Mysterious EmeraldEyes, welcome to my blog! We have too small a house for such an elaborate sign ;-)
Harpwales, Blond scalps hanging from your belt - now THAT's efficient. I am assuming those scalps are of teenagers who insisted on smoking on your premises...
OK then, just for you:
There was no door slam; I never opened the door for them.
There was a lot more confusion in their eyes as I turned my back to them and ended the conversation.
And no, I don't think they speak Spanish. C'mon, learning a second language does require some brain activity!
But, I mean seriously, you really don't like talkin' to shmucks who come a'knockin' to sell you stuff? Really?! I mean, like, not even Teh Witnesses? Or Teh Mormons?
Wow...
Oh well. Musta justa been that mood.
:)
