Thursday, November 16, 2006
The Curious Incident
of The Sarong in The Workshop
At a serious figure-painting workshop, like the one I was attending last week, you paint from live models.
We had two great models for the first two days, and on the third day, they switched with two other models: one blond, the other brunette.
(No, it's not the beginning of a non-PC joke.
.Or is it?)
The brunette was almost an hour late, and when she finally arrived, she burst into the room, panting, "I soooooooooooo got lost!".
Fair enough.
Like the previous models, our two new models were asked the crucial question, whether we could take their pictures while they were are posing. (Yes, TexieD, in the nude).
The blond agreed, the brunette chose to refuse.
Fair enough.
We paid the blond model for the privilege, and took pictures while she was posing during the painting sessions, as we did with the models we had in the first two days.
At the break, the brunette model approached AndieD, the workshop instructor, and whispered something in his ear. He seemed a bit puzzled, but informed us that she feels intimidated by the presence of cameras while she is posing in the nude.
Fair enough.
...Therefore, we cannot use our cameras during the painting session..
Fair enough.
...And so, we will have a special photo session with the blond model.
Fair enough.
..."And don't use your cellular phones in class, as she is concerned that you will use them to take her photo", added AndieD, with a slight eye-rolling. (Hey, and he is not even married to The JohnnyB!).
Fair enough - well, kinda.
People started to mutter and mumble that she is a bit paranoid, as we are all artists, and if she is so concerned and so untrusting, she may be in the wrong profession.
But I told the eye-rollers around me that perhaps she's had a bad experience.
That got a lot of agreeing head-nodding, and brought us back to Fair enough.
The morning painting session was over, we all went to lunch and came back for the photo session.
The blond model stood in the middle of the room and broke into a series of gorgeous poses, choreographed by AndieD, who added incredible lighting that created lyrical shadow shapes on her body and face.
Those of us who took photos, ran around like a herd of paparazzi on steroids, frantically taking photos from every possible angle. It's not every day that you get so much reference material for painting, directed by one of the best figure painters in the USA.
I know this may sound like a total waste to you (does it, TexieD?), but I hereby confess: I mostly aimed at her face.
What can I say, I am much more into portraits and expressions and personalities than into, well, what many of the husky-voiced readers among you are.
At some point, the model started to pose with one beautiful sarong which she tied around her waist, stretching another one against her back, which yielded fantastic shadow shapes, as the light was breaking through and diffusely illuminating her.
(For those of you about to malign my photographic skills... took me a while to blur the photo enough so that you, curious clickers, can not identify faces and other forensic evidence. Alas, if only you spent your clicking-energy somewhere else on this blog...)
End of the photo session, time to go back to painting, we are all ecstatic about all those pictures that we took and will paint some day - - - and the brunette model is out of sight.
Fair enough?
No.
Out goes AndieD, and 5 minutes later he comes back, in advanced stages of eye-rolling, declaring: "We have a problem".
OK now, let's go back in time.
Remember the blond model (we shall call her Dew), posing in her colorful sarongs?
Apparently, the brunette model (we shall call her, Hmm... Princess @&%#$) got upset.
Why?
Bikoz Dew was using one of Princess @&%#$'s sarongs for the photo session.
"So?", you ask with complete incomprehension. "Why was Princess @&%#$ upset?"
Beecoz she felt utterly offended.
"Why??", you repeat you growing wonder.
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiicoz she felt violated.
"VIOLATED?", you ask with capital letters, "Why would she feel violated?".
Bikous the sarong of The Princess has touched the body of Dew.
"?????????????????", you tilt your eyebrows in a variety if angles.
Yup.
My point exactly.
"Was Dew a leper?", you wonder.
No, she wasn't.
"So, was she covered with terrible eczema, the poor dear?", you try, with sincere desire to get to the root of this.
Not at all.
"Did she have fresh ripe pimples from head to toe?", you may suggest.
No. Not even one zit.
"Was Dew abscess-ridden?", you get more creative.
Nothing of the sort.
"Oozing with pus, Eh?", you go for the Canadian approach.
Nope.
"Was she dripping of green alien goo?", you become desperate.
Y'know, I am not even going to dignify that with an answer.
"Wait, perhaps - - "
- - - (OK, enough of this! seriously, you are getting more and more disgusting!).
All Dew did was tie the sarong around her non-abscessed, smooth waist.
Now, not only was Princess @&%#$ upset, offended and violated, she also decided that she is going home.
Fair enough!? Hell No!
At this point, we all pretty much lost our patience, but @&%#$ (I decided she is too much of a princess to actually deserve the title) chose to push it even further, stating with impressive assertiveness that she should get paid for the whole day.
Got it?
Not only was she was late to class, not only did she put up an unprecedented attitude, not only is she leaving in the middle of the day, because her precious sarong touched another woman's waist - she wants to get fully paid!
There are few times in life when the most appropriate and eloquent expression is: "Ppppppppppppfffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr".
This was by far one of those rare occasions.
While all this was taking place, Dew was just sitting on a chair on the side, quite overwhelmed and very confused, not quite knowing what she did wrong to cause all that fuss.
Anyway, we were stuck.
Only one model for 24 people - that's way too crowded.
Someone tried to call the person in charge of the models, to see if another model can come in on such a short notice, AndieD was looking more and more frustrated - - -
And suddenly, one of the workshop participants declared, "I'll do it!".
Just to remind you: we are not talking a portrait workshop, nor was it a clothed-figure workshop.
Now, that took some serious guts!
She asked us if we have some scarf or something of the sort to cover herself a bit, and I handed her my poncho, making sure to formally declare that I shall be utterly offended if it even touched her fingernail...
And - she went for it.
She was a wonderful model to paint, we all excelled ourselves, as we all know and like her a lot.
Our only complaint was that she is about my height (which to The JohnnyB's does not seem significant, but for most normal beings, it's tall!), which meant there was no way to fit her neverending legs on a single sheet of paper.
AndieD made a quick drawing of her, and went to the side to paint it. I admit I was quite irritated that he is painting to himself instead of guiding us.
But at the end, after we all thanked her profusely, I forgave him immediately.
Apparently, he was painting it in order to give it to her as a Thank You for saving the day.
Y'all have to admit that AndieD is one very cool person!
Now, I seriously considered posting one or two of the paintings I did during that workshop.
Trying to decide which to choose, out of the 9 I painted, I turned to the JohnnyB:
"Which of my paintings is worth posting?".
"None of them, really", was his quick nonchalant reply. (way too quick, and waaaaaaaaay too nonchalant, if I may say so...).
So there you go.
Yet again, my good intentions of sharing got underminded by harsh criticism.
And for those of you who constantly seek closure and are on a constant quest for petty details:
As you read, that complaining model is still demanding to get the full-day payment.
We decided to go ahead and pay her for the full day, and then send her the bill for the fee that was paid to the volunteering model, who also got refunded for part of the workshop.
Which - altogether - is more than the demanded fee...
Fair enough, I think.
# posted by Nava @ 2:48 PM 
Comments:
I'm surprised your teacher lets you take photos. Isn't the point of live figure drawing to try to transfer three dimensions into two? If you take pictures of a nude model and then work from the photograph that's two to two and it sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? In any case, fun to hear about the drama in the classroom.
Well, yeah...
You have a very valid point, and in the class we only painted from the posing models.
However, painting from life means very limited time and vision (as you are usually squeezed with fellow artists, and the angle you get depends on luck).
Plus, photos are a great reference for abstraction.
Models are awfully high maintenance. That's why I made The Mrs. quit modeling after we got married. Who has time for all that attitude?
How true your words are.
True and oozing with profound wisdom and admirable insight.
Even The JohnnyB has gained attitude since his 15 minutes of fame...
This workshop soap opera sounds almost like "desperate housewives!" AndyD, or whadever his name is, has a lot of class . . . . .and so does the wkshop participant who volunteered. She saved the day!
# posted by 
: 11/19/2006 10:01 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home
You have a very valid point, and in the class we only painted from the posing models.
However, painting from life means very limited time and vision (as you are usually squeezed with fellow artists, and the angle you get depends on luck).
Plus, photos are a great reference for abstraction.
True and oozing with profound wisdom and admirable insight.
Even The JohnnyB has gained attitude since his 15 minutes of fame...
# posted by : 11/19/2006 10:01 PM
: 11/19/2006 10:01 PM 
