Thoughts in the USA

OK, since I reported of John's sickness, I got several responses (via Email, rather than in the comment section - why, Oh why???) from friends concerned about the well-being of John.

Of JOHN!?!!

What is it with you, people?
You read about his sheer lack of empathy to his wife when she struggles with American viruses, you read of her tea slavery - and that makes you get all worried about him??
Of course he is OK!
He recovered before the posting!

I wouldn't have posted such defamations if he was really feeling bad, would I?
(and not only because I am such a sweet person, but simply because I would be too busy making him tea!
.Like, Duh!?)

And so, I hereby protest with a broken voice:
I am people too!
If you prick me, do I not bleed?
If you step over me, do I not make you tea??
If you don't leave comments, do I not sit alone in the dark and sob?

This brings me to the eternal question about John: How does he do that?

See, when it comes to my family and friends, the man is a white-winged angel, made of honey and Teflon.
No matter what horrific stories I tell of his blood-curdling acts - whether it's making me hand him the screwdriver countless times after almost setting the house on fire, or being sick in his unique way, or changing the propane tank with a cigarette in his mouth (lit, of course!) - they always get doe-eyed and chant the mantra "איזה חמווווווווווווד ג'ון" (which, to the Hebrew-illiterate of you, means: "Oh, he is soooooooooo cute!").

One of the ultimate examples is my niece's wedding, 3 years ago.
The JohnnyB and I went through the trouble of flying especially for that occasion, with the involved jetlag and collection of all the passengers' viruses on the way and back, not before I had to go through a long heart-rending plea saga to the INS to let me leave the USA for a couple of weeks (I was in the green card process, and I had to pay and get what they call Advanced Parole - but that's another story).

Throughout the wedding, I took dozens of great artistic pictures of everyone and everything.
As we were enjoying the results, the day after, my niece claimed with true admiration, "Wow, you know, John is such a good photographer!".
And all I could do was gaze at her with my mouth wide open, in sheer disbelief.
You see, I took about 99% of the pictures, with John only taking a couple, enabling me to dance a bit.
Plus, mind you, quite a few of the pictures show John, waving at the camera with the one hand, cigarette in the other - - -
- - - and yet... he is the one getting the credit of being the photographer.

I wanted to follow the footsteps of CherkyB and have a poll here, but I might be accused of plagiarism, so I hereby ask you, as an open question, and I would appreciate your wise enlightening inputs:

HOW DOES HE DO IT!?