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Thursday, April 26, 2007

 

Rude Awakening


Two weeks ago was my birthday, right?.

Now, one of The JohnnyB's charming traits is his ability to find the most unique ideas. He doesn't just go to a store and gets his lovely wife a nice jewelry or perfume.


Nooooooooooooo.

The man hates, loathes and fears stores.

So, he goes online, for days and weeks (maybe even months?), gathering ideas, and manages to surprise me each and every time.


This year, he handed me a big box, and in the box, a very sweet greeting card (which he created himself on the computer), with a typed page.
"Gift certificate to CheapJoes!!!", I thought, imagining a brand new fancy sable brush dipped into purple paint.

No.

It was a bunch of ideas for a new table/storage/thingy for my studio, as he thought I need something nicer and better, which was very, truly sweet.

Right now, I am quite happy with the arrangement I have (a folding table on top of our former-coffee table, and in between them a couple tiny drawer-units we got at IKEA. Plus, the top of those storage thingies might not be deep enough to serve as a painting surface. And yet, some of the ideas he found are soooooooooooo tempting, that we might head for IKEA one of these days.

But until then, like, where is my tangible birthday gift?!?

Two days later, a package has arrived. The JohnnyB, the master of presentation, threw it at my lap as is, saying "and here's the small present that did not arrive in time for your birthday".


And there, in the box, was sitting ClockyB (*)

"Oh, an alarm clock", I said, somewhat disappointed.

"Yes", joyoused The JohnnyB.

"Ahm... thank you", I said politely with utter wonder.

"Try it", said The JohnnyB.

So I did.

Gheeze... this is one alarm clock!

First, it doesn't just speak the regular alarmclockish language.
It chirps and beeps and rings and rattles and squeaks and comes up with a variety of noises that annoy
the hell out of you.

Not only that, the little creep also flashes its screen.

Not only that - once it starts its irritating concert, and you hit the 'snooze' button, the little idiot, after a while, shows - yet again - its vast vocal ability, then goes forward on its wheels - - - and then starts rotating and running like a two-year old on candy, and you have to start chasing it all over the room.
It moves on any surface, including carpets (even ugly carpets!), and it can jump from up to 3 feet (haven't tried that yet - my heart is too weak for such adventures!)

'How cool!!!', I see your eyes lit.

Hmm... is it!?

Well, take into account that when you just wake up from a deep, sweet sleep (and this little bugger is so damn loud!!!), it's really alarming. Even if you do manage to fall back asleep, you then get the full monty, and then, as you fall off the bed trying to catch this annoying piece of plastic, all you wanna do is choke the bastard. Once you got a hold of this retarded dreidel, you are so fully awake and agitated, that you just make your way to the kitchen, trying to relax with a first coffee.

So, yes, it is working - even for non-morning people like yours truly.

Now, The JohnnyB spent too much time, in my opinion, walking around very proud of himself for this cool gift (and yes, it is very cool, and Thank You!!!).

And so, he just had to be taught a lesson.

On Sunday afternoon, as he was tucked nicely under the covers, all happy and elated that it's time for his sacred nap, he asked me to wake him at 5:30.

"No", I said with my sweetest voice and cutest smile, "why don't I let ClockyB wake you? After all, it is such a wonderful gift".

"OK", he agreed with the sweet innocence that is reserved for those who are not yet acquainted with this freakish toy.

Now, The JohnnyB's state of being after a nap is usually dreamy, kindhearted and pink-cheeked.

Well, not this time. . .

. . . At 5:30 and 2 seconds, he shot out of the bedroom like a cannon ball on steroids.

"This thing!", he said, fully alert, but unable to show his crankiness, as it's HIS gift,
"this thing, y'know, it REALLY wakes you up!!!".

R E A L L Y ? ! ?

And, mind you, just because I am such a considerate lovely wife. I only set the alarm, without all the commotion of ClockyB running around.

Next time, I'll set the snooze to '0', which will cause ClockyB to go crazy right from the beginning. I'll just need to get a video camera and keep a safe distance as The JohnnyB breaks a new record in high-jump.

Payback? Moi?? Naaaaaaaaaaaa.
Just sharing the love...


(*) Believe it or not, the official name of this little guy is actually Clocky, but we accepted him to our family with open arms, and thus he became ClockyB, the younger brother of LumiB.

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Comments:

Please convey to JohnnyB my profound thanks for the site. I've completed my Christmas shopping except for a few items. Does he have any more unusual sites to share!!

BTW glad you had fun with the Clocky! Love to see them jump (ambiguity intentional!)
 

Clockyb could very well be trying to take over your household.
Put a blankie on him.
This could quiet him down or suffocate him?
yes?
 
Valerie - completed the Christmas shopping? In April?? God, you are good!

Rhonda, I am keeping an eye on ClockyB. Don't trust him.

 
Good GOD, thanks for the warning not to buy such a horrifically scary product, lol!!! I are not a morning chica either. *snore*
 
Ummm... I thought we agreed it wasn't nice to call people retarded. Even if they're clocks.
 
ClockyB is very cool!! The website says it's like a misbehaving pet except that it gets you up at the right time. I already have the pet situation (well, OK, after years of getting us up at all hours of the night misbehaving, he now gets us up because he doesn't feel well... so all is more or less forgiven).

In spite of the coolness, I hate rude awakenings. They make me start the day angry... and nobody likes me when I'm angry. ;-)
 
Blueberry, last time I checked, pets do not have a snooze button :-)
 
Yeah, that whole "snooze button" deal made me stop using an alarm clock several years ago. If ya get up early enough, you just don't need any reminder.
 
"If ya get up early enough..."

Aha, but there lies the catch...

Although, as I was telling my sister today, I am now so terrified of ClockyB, that whenever I set it, I wake up before it starts to do its thing. Awakening by fear... a whole new concept!

 
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