Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The Quest For The New Laptop
The JohnnyB has been spending a lot of time researching for a new laptop in the last couple of days, due to the dramatic demise of our laptop on Sunday.
He invested lots of time investigating Consumer Reports, which came up with a Dell laptop as the best choice.
The thing is that, well, we would rather carve fonts on lava rocks with our bleeding fingernails, than buy a Dell ever again.
The laptop we had was Dell.
It was quite a good laptop, but for some peculiar reason, they make this extra special power cord, that gets screwed up, causes the laptop to lose power, causes you to get a thrilling electric shock every time you touch it - until you give up and buy another one. . .
. . . and another one . . .
. . . . . . and then a tiny part comes off and causes a fragrant shortage, bringing an aromatic death upon your laptop at its prime.
And then, you (well, your husband) take the whole laptop apart just to get to this bloody part, and when you try to retrieve the data from the hard disk, you realize it's blocked - and no matter how many times you enter the password, it fails.
So you write to Dell, asking them for the master password, and they reply, "Your warranty is over. You want the password? You pay us a lot of money!", and then they laugh the roaring laughter of the bad guys.
Which is just the time to revert to French and go for a big Pfffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr in their general direction.
Now, it's a known problem.
Quite a few Dell laptop owners have bumped into it, and many more will
But Dell, so it seems, couldn't care less.
They keep producing that special power cord to make sure it gets screwed up, so you buy a new one from them, until eventually the laptop dies because of that faulty part.
Cool for them, but we are not going to be suckers.
Once was more than enough.
So, The JohnnyB decided we should look at other laptops.
And, when he says "we", it's the ultimate royal "we".
I am a very easy-to-please person.
At least when it comes to laptops.
All I want is a working one.
Purple, if possible.
I'll settle for blue.
Or silver.
But The JohnnyB is a connoisseur.
He would not get just any laptop that the unwashed masses buy in a couple of hours, such that you pay for and go home with.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
That is 'cause he understands about computers.
And yes, it's true that I used to be a computer engineer. Studied it for 4 years at the world-renowned Technion, worked as a computer engineer for 9 years, for an even more world-renowned company (hey, how come 'renowned' has no K?).
But I have so happily moved on and out of it, that I seem to have shed every fragment of knowledge I ever had.
A complete cleansing purification, that at times, leaves The JohnnyB at awe (though not of the positive type...).
And so, for the past 5 years, a computer for me is this annoying machine that you need to suck up to and beg for it to work, hoping it would not get nasty on you at a crucial time, just because it can.
Anyhow - yesterday we went to Fry's to get a thingy ("it's called a USB hard-drive case", reprimands The JohnnyB from his chair), in order to try and recover the vast information that was stored on our deceased laptop.
While there, we looked at the laptops they had.
And they had.
Quite a lot.
And some real nice ones, too.
Most of them had the take-me-home-with-you look in their virtual eyes.
Obviously, my judgement was mostly dictated by the look of the laptop and the screen saver it had.
You see, I'm the kind of sophisticated customer they love in such stores.
But (un)fortunately, I was accompanied by someone who's just a touch more practical than me.
Wait! stop sneering...
Just to show you that I can be reasonable, like, once a year, let me tell you that in spite of the extreme temptation, I agreed that we should not get one of those stunning Apple laptops. Not only are they white (Ah, but soooooo amazingly gorgeous!), but that would mean purchasing a whole bunch of new Software packages.
As I was looking with yearning eyes at one laptop with an incredible screen resolution and a great design of the 'Enter' key, The JohnnyB went over the reasons why we would not get it:
First, it only has Core Dual - as opposed to Core 2 Dual. (what core? and how dual?? and why do we need 2 of them???).
And, although it has the highly desired 2GHz processor speed, it did not have a 2GB memory. Shocking, Eh!?
"But this does - and it's a Sony, and for anice price!", I victoriously pointed at another laptop, imagining us sitting cozily hand in hand (me and the latop, not The JohnnyB!!).
I even started to think of a catchy name for it.
"Yeah, but the memory only runs at 533 and not at 667, exclaimed the know-all, shredding my romantic dream to pieces.
Luckily for him, The JohnnyB knows his wife quite well by now, so he immediately pointed out that Sony laptops, trying to imitate the Apple ones, have white keyboards.
Which for me was enough reason to not get it.
No white keyboard for my Painter's fingers.
Towards the end, we saw a charming Toshiba.
"I want that one!", I tried one last time, but alas - that one did not have the SXGA-whatsit, plus its hard disk was running at 5400 RPM, which is shamefully low, as we all know(?).
And so, we left the store, with onyl the USB-hard-drive-whatshemacallit, and - as a small compensation for the disappointed me - a keychain laser pointer, which I am so going to use at our next critique group meeting! (See, told you I am easy to please).
And so, The JohnnyB went back to researching.
He almost ordered the laptop of his dreams online last evening (Velocity Micro, if you really need to know), but realized with terror that it would only ship on the 25th ('coz - if you've been paying attention - we want the Core 2 Dual, Eh?).
Trying to mitigate this very late date, he went for the "Live Chat" option on their website, launched a question - and never ever heard back from them.
Of course, he may have pushed the wrong button.
But, hey - The JohnnyB only tries once.
It was a very nice laptop, though.
Even came with 3 colorful detachable lids - none purple, but still!!!
And a T-shirt!
(I kid you not!!! they actually send you a T-shirt. XL).
Anyway - pissed at their shipping time, he started looking at another laptop (Gateway).
When I left for my choir group rehearsal, he was in the midst of a vehement debate with the options on their website. . .
But really, I should be grateful that The JohnnyB is looking for a laptop.
If it was up to him, he would invest all his days and nights trying to resurrect the one that died.
Which is fine with me - I can see how it can be fun (well, if I really try, and seriosuly concentrate, I guess I can eventually see that, or at least get a glimpse).
Still, I made a fervent plea to him, that he first looks for a new, living, breathing laptop, before he goes to the black magic of reincarnating the old one.
After all, I know what and who I am dealing with...
I mean, he already got on eBay the tiny part that caused all the mess, and is awaiting its arrival.
"Why don't you take it to those companies that retrieve the contents of hard disks for you?", I asked after he came back from a long struggle with the computer, all dusty and cranky.
"Because they charge $100 for it!!!", he replied, giving me the famous look.
That famous look that's filled with masculine confidence.
Y'know, the one that exudes "WTF do you, little woman, understand in this manly business?".
That same look that means I need to get into a red alert.
The look which signals a great blog is on the way.
Actually, great for you... sighful for me.
'cause it's the very same famous look he gave me when he refused to call the electrician . . .
. . . and later, the firefighters . . .
And it's not because he is cheap.
So far, he spent $20 plus tax on that USB hard disk thingy.
And 12 hours of the rarely sunny first day of 2007.
Plus many of cigarettes.
To no avail.
And for those of you who are about to jump to his defense (you know who you are! Yes, you!!), let me add this little anecdote:
As he was going through the options of the Gateway laptop, The JohnnyB asked me if I think we should go for the 2-year-on-site warranty ($150) or the 3-year-mail-in warranty (also $150).
I did not even bother to activate my brain cells. Why tire the little things?
I knew it was a rhetorical question.
I knew he wouldn't go for either of these two.
"Why not?", you ask, your forehead wrinkled with wonder.
Oh, what an amazing coincidence!
What a Kodak-moment of great-minds-think-alike and other cliches!!
Would you believe that I asked him the very same question!?
And The JohnnyB said: (now, listen carefully to this):
"Because if something goes wrong after the free one year warranty is over, I'll just take it to a local store and have them fix it...".
"OK", he corrected himself, with the somewhat-overused smile that always gets him out of trouble, "In case I cannot resolve it myself".
Some dull moments... Is it really too much to ask, for the New Year?
Epilogue:
This blog was almost ready for posting.
Then I came back from my choir group rehearsal, all cheery and humming, to learn that during the 3 hours I was gone, unattainable things have taken place, and an incredible tale is to be told!!!
But - to assure you hear it first-hand, and not as a hearsay, I shall now refer you to the hero of the evening: The JohnnyB himself, right here.
I hear he is using somewhat more accurate technical details.
And he even posted some cool pictures (courtesy of his lovely wife). . .
Labels: Damn Technology, Wonders of The JohnnyB
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
iLaptop!!!
From the dramatic demise of our old laptop that perished with a blow in my lap, to the quest for a new one, to the saga of the desktop who followed suit by committing suicide - - - and much, much more.
Yes, it's true that we got an almost-new laptop for free from Dell, but in the last couple of months, it started to show desire to join its brother in the laptop Heaven. Let's just say that staring at a frozen screen and having to reboot it several times a day has become an ordinary scene in our house. And, when this happens while reading email or browsing the internet (which, if I may say so myself, are relatively traditional ways to use a laptop), this can get to you. It sure was getting to my sense of humor.
And so, at the best of times, when economy is going for a forced landing, we found ourselves in need for a new laptop.
Several weekends ago, The JohnnyB mysteriously said, "do you trust me to buy a laptop?".
Now, y'all probably know by now that to know that The JohnnyB has many talents, but poker face is not one of them (in fact, he's almost as bad as LimaB - it's a tough call between these two). So it took me about 15 seconds to figure out he's going for real novelty this time.
And so, after many debates and considerations, after taking several weeks to decide whether we really want to make such a major step (with reboots galore along that time), I suddenly got an email from DiploK, about a special crazy deal on Apple laptops that are not the blow-your-socks-off-new-aluminum-unibody-multi-touch-glass-trackpad. As in, $400-$500 off.
OK, all we want is a good functioning laptop whose most useful button is not the reboot one. And because the evenings are getting cold, we don't necessarily want our socks knocked off. So this email came in the perfect timing.
Decision took place within 10 minutes.
We ordered on Sunday, and on Tuesday(!!!) afternoon, FedEx has knocked on the door and handed me this beauty: The Apple MacBook Pro! And it's gloriously silvery, not at all the white I was fearing.
Will this lead to a whole new saga?
- - - Will this bring The JohnnyB back to blogging after over a year of silence?
We shall see.
Labels: Damn Technology, Major Achievements, Wonders of The JohnnyB
Sunday, March 04, 2007
A potential Sentence of The Month: March
"How long would it take to get the new desktop to work, John"?
"Ah, an hour or so".
Yes, we are finally buying a new computer.
It took us a while to fully recover from the utter shock of getting a free almost-new laptop from Dell as a compensation for the one that got roasted.
Then we had to revive our faith in technology to believe that the third replacement monitor we got from Samsung (after the two times they sent us other screwed-up monitors) is really working fine.
And then we realized that, like, since we did not need to buy a new laptop nor had extra expenses on the monitor, we can purchase a new computer and replace our old one, that's recently been showing concerning signs of old age and forgetfulness, while reincarnating into a snail, speed-wise, stopping to ponder lengthily every now and then about the task it was requested to perform.
And so, last weekend, The JohnnyB has retreated into a serious one-on-one with the laptop, and came back from the other end, exclaiming, "OK, I chose our new computer".
He showing me the impressive Excel sheet (he made a fuckin' Excel sheet!) with the pros and cons of all the options, and in conclusion, informed his lovely wife that he's decided on an HP, although the Velocity computer has some real neat advantages, but costs $200 more.
Having been recently classified as "the long-suffering wife of JohnnyB", I did not argue.
Y'see, although I am merely a woman, I am learning my lessons and doing my homework. So, I mentioned - in my sweetest voice - that since the computer will be with is for years, I think it really is OK to go ahead pay the difference, especially when it's an amount that equals a couple of dinners. I then went to my studio, to leave The JohnnyB to make the decision on his own. (or at least think that is what's happening).
5 minutes later, he hollered that he got the Velocity one. See - it really is a win-win thing: if the computer is great,
I can also take part of the credit, as I pushed him towards it; whereas if it sucks - well, it was his decision, right?
What do I know about computers, being an artist and the owner of a pair of X chromosome in most of my cells?(Hmm... would have been more of a win-win if The JohnnyB wasn't reading my blog).
Now, the new toy should arrive in a week or two, and - as I am getting more and more involved with computer-related stuff that I do for our watercolor organization - it's kind important.
Hence the short dialogue above.
"And why is it a potential Sentence of The Month?", you ask?
Oh, C'mon... that is, like, the ultimate "Keilu, Duh!?", Eh? (*)
(*) This is a combined Hebrew-English phrase, which is used massively in the land of milk and honey, and means, "Like, Duh!?".
So, no copyrights for you, CherkyB, on this one!
Stay tuned for the arrival and installation of the new computer!
I foresee a wealth of blogposts, and a very frustrated me.
previous Sentence of The Month... ...next Sentence of The Month
Labels: Damn Technology, Sentence of The Month
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Still No Resolution...
...or at least, a smaller resolution that should be.
Monitor-speaking, that is.
Johnny The Duster (formerly The JohnnyB) has dedicated 8 hours last night, and a similar number today, to our problematic monitor., trying all kinds of things and tricks and plugging and unplugging and doing many other technically-related verbs.
(Hey, if it's technicality you want, read his blog!).
Until he gave up, and called the Samsung Tech Support.
Yes, they work on Saturday.
He spoke a lot to the Tech Support guy, replying "Yep, tried that" to each and every idea the support kid tried to come up with, and was put on hold a couple of times.
Eventually, the support guy, sounding more and more desperate, broke and transferred him to Tech Support level II.
JTD spent more quality time with the level II guy, and was again put on hold as that guy went to consult someone, and it was then that I noticed this intriguing phenomena:
When put on hold with the regular support guy, a cheery optimistic tune was playing in the background.
But, when the level II guy was putting him on hold, it was done to the sound of a very melodramatic gloomy tune.
As if, the higher you go, the lower are the chances to resolve the problem.
Very appropriate, if you ask me.
I wonder what gets played at support level III - Mozart's Requiem?
Level II also called him 'Sir', and spoke with much respect, whereas the former level simply addressed him as 'John'.
Y'see, I had a lot of time to make these profound observations, as he was put on hold for quite a while.
Finally, after a lengthy debate, he got the answer that it sounds like the graphics card thinks the monitor is a TV, and thus enlarges the display beyond the dimensions of the screen.
('coz a TV has this black band around the screen, y'see?
.Oh, you DON'T see?
.Neither do I!!!).
Unable to figure out how to disable TV-out on the damn card, JTD now needs to contact the card manufacturer.
They do not work on Saturday.
Why would they?
And still, my gut feeling - which is almost always right - keeps hollering that the monitor has evil in it!
I can see its nasty smile.
I can hear it giggling, even!
And if the graphic card does think the monitor is a TV, it's only because the monitor is lying through its teeth!
It's the monitor, I am telling ya!!!
Remember I said that!!
And so, the saga continues.
Mind you, the refurbished replacement laptop sent to us by Dell is still working fine.
Works much faster than our previous one that got roasted.
I make sure to type on it with fingers crossed...
Labels: Damn Technology
Friday, January 12, 2007
A Thousand Words - And Then Some #5
I know.
You've probably seen more exciting pictures.
Pictures that portray more intriguing subjects.
Better composed, even.
But - these pictures are very exciting to me, to us, and soon: to you!
Remember - last week we got a replacement monitor instead of the one that was dusted to death by The JohnnyB (also known in some circles as "Johnny The Duster"...)?
Remember it was crooked?
Remember we sent it back, and Samsung said they would send another replacement?
Remember they even made a special note to make sure they don't screw up again?
They did.
"What d'ya mean they did?", y'all ask.
"Why do you always have to be so ambiguous?? Did send another replacement, or did screw up again???".
Well, yes...
The new refurbished monitor arrived on Tuesday.
Again, like its former, Mr. Crooky, it was very nicely packed, cozily resting between expanding foam and all.
The JohnnyB set it up this morning, stepped back and checked it with the critical eyes of the Yekke anal engineer that he is, and I checked it with the critical eyes of the suspicious being that I am (when it comes to refurbished products and technology in general).
Looks perfect!
Even has a little sticker on the top right, which adds it a sophisticated grace.
Happiness took over.
And so, The JohnnyB carefully packed our own deceased monitor (the one he has so lovingly dusted), and asked me to take it to UPS and ship it back to Samsung, so we can part as friends, let go, move on, and finally put an end to this saga.
UPS only opens at 9:30, so I had time to check some of my favorite blogs.
For some peculiar reason, a couple of them came up empty, only the template showing.
"Damn Blogger", I muttered, and went on to tend to an urgent matter.
(yet another saga, that has to do with us wanting to go on vacation and me not yet having an American passport and some countries in the Caribbean demanding a special visa for the cricket match season - that shall be blogged some other time, or not).
I opened the email that The JohnnyB sent me yesterday, with the contact info of the Grenada consulate, as well as a table of the countries that are exempt from a visa on a regular basis (as in, at non Cricket-related times).
I looked at the email, smiling at the refurbished monitor. I was beginning to like it.
It smiled back - but not quite the way it should have.
Something was wrong. I thought I sensed a hint of evil in its smile.
Examining the email closely, I realized that it does not contain the table as it did yesterday night. Instead, it just had many horizontal lines.
"Interesting", I thought, and entered the website of the Grenada consulate.
Gre-Nada!
Only the template. And an image of a passport. (see the top picutre).
Now, that couldn't have been the Blogger's fault, Eh?
I checked some more websites - some of them had the same problem.
"even more interesting!", I pondered - and opened the refurbished laptop that was sent to us by Dell and has also arrived on Tuesday.
The email and all the problematic websites appeared perfectly on the laptop, with all the info intact.
(see this picture, showing the cheery Grenada website, in all its tropical glory. Same website.).
Called The JohnnyB, and informed him that again, the lovely people at Samsung have sent us a crappy monitor.
We shall call him Mr. Teasy, as he does not go all the way.
Shows you a bit of what he has, and then says 'No'.
Good thing I did not go to UPS yet
Bad thing that it's the second time we get a bad product.
Like, don't they do any testing in the Samsung labs, when it comers to refurbished monitors?
WTF???
And so, yet again: Thank You, TexieD.
That old modest monitor you have lent us, is getting more and more precious as time goes by...
And you know what?
I think I am starting to lose my sense of humor...
previous 1000 Words... ...next 1000 words
Labels: Damn Technology
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Hi-Tech, Bye-Tech.
Before this year leaves us, I would like to play this hypothetical game with you.
Exercise for the mind, if you choose to call it.
Just humor me for a while, OK?
Say you live in the heart of the hi-tech world, wireless and all.
Bytes and pixels smiling at you, obeying every whim and desire you might have.
You have two computers at home: A desktop, and a laptop.
Then, your husband goes through a short spell of flu, and gets better after 24 hours.
Rosy-cheeked and filled with the energy of the recovered-from-a-one-day-flu, he decides it’s time to dust the desktop monitor.
Now, that monitor, mind you, is a wonderful monitor.
Tall and wide, dark and handsome, high resolution and rotating, state-of-the-art, does its job on the best side, and was purchased for good money less than 10 months ago.
But, alas, it gathers dust.
Being black, the dust shows even more.
And your husband is energetic.
So he dusts.
At some point, the dusting becomes somewhat frantic, so it seems, and the monitor - being height adjustable - suddenly gets lowered.
Your husband tries to raise it back up.
The monitor resists.
Your husband insists.
The monitor does not show signs of consent.
Your husband insists even more (what ever happened to "No means No!"?).
The monitor (still dusty, if I might add!!!) then takes the Fifth, reverts into itself and sinks into a bleak catatonic state.
You get pissed.
As in, REALLY pissed, for 5 minutes.
But – Hey, accidents happen.
There are worse things in life.
It's all about proportions.
Plus - you still have the laptop, right?
So, you use the laptop, to print some reference photos for your next painting (say you also made an ArtPact with your many loyal readers).
And, suddenly, the laptop complains that it's choking - it has no power.
"But you are hooked to the power cord, you stupid thing", you reprimand it, checking the power, just to make sure.
Yep, power cord is plugged in.
Still, the laptop keeps complaining.
You wiggle the cord, to no avail.
The laptop turns itself off, with a quiet tear and a long look of farewell. (Those Dell appliances can get so melodramatic at times!).
Then you notice that the power cord does not have the green led on. which means it's not getting power.
You apologize to the laptop, but it longer hears you, being in deep hibernation.
So you take the reserve power cord that was purchased on eBay a while ago, and you plug it to the outlet.
Green light comes on, and you optimistically plug it into the laptop receptacle - - -
- - -
- - - and within a fraction of a second, all your senses get into action:
You hear the gentle noise of a power cord stopping to work.
You smell the odorous scent of something burnt.
You see a black screen.
You feel a cold hand grasping your guts.
You know that last look of the laptop will accompany you forever.
You immediately plug the cord out.
You shout for help.
Your husband, who's busy in the kitchen, comes rushing after 5 crucial minutes ('coz he was busy, can't you see?!), takes a close look, and with an astounding profound insight, tells you there's a burnt smell.
Pfffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - r e a l l y ? ! ?
He then takes a closer look, and informs you there's a part missing.
A part that, well, should be there, to, like, provide the right interface between the power cord and the laptop.
Small - yet essential.
Like Israel in the Middle East.
You go on all four, find the part (which was hiding and maliciously giggling under the couch).
It’s even smaller than expected.
Your husband puts it back in, plays with a screwdriver, but his face shows no sign of hope.
Remember, burnt smell?
Remember cold hand?
Your husband announces the time of death, and goes out to smoke (a major sign of stress).
A quick estimation of the situation reveals the following:
The desktop is well and fully working, but unreachable, as the partially-dusted monitor is still in its uncommunicative state.
The laptop, so it seems, has gone to the laptops heaven, pretty much in flames (well, almost... it could have!), with RIP suffixed to its name.
And it didn’t even have a name, alas.
You start to realize that you, well, have no computer.
The jitters take over the better parts of you.
You also wonder with astonishment:
"Two such incidents, on the very same day - what are the odds?"
Well, if your name is Nava, and you are married to The JohnnyB: 100%.
And now, I am blogging this over a monitor from the Middle-Ages, courtesy of TexieD, who let us borrow it on one condition: that we never ever give it back to him!
Apparently, he was too lazy to get rid of it, so he was very happy when The JohnnyB called him with a broken voice and drove all the way to fetch it.
And only now, as I try to decipher the fonts on this tiny shimmering screen of the monitor, do I truly appreciate how amazing our monitor is - and how I wish it was back with us...
And yet: THANK YOU, TexieD!!!
And The JohnnyB?
Ah, he is a very very happy man now, busy looking at the many silver linings of this cloud:
First, he is no longer sick. (he has passed it on to me, of course, but that's a different story).
Second, he was not the one who screwed up the laptop.
Third, he gets to research for a brand new laptop.
Fourth - he got a valid reason to disassemble the laptop to its parts, in order to see which part was damaged. (yet another tiny part).
And above all - and that should also make y'all very happy, due to the rich blogging potential: he gets to buy the damaged part on eBay ($25 plus shipping), and - - - try to rebuild the laptop as a science project.
Now, if you've been reading this blog long enough, you should get a certain sense of a disaster waiting to happen.
If you don't get it, refer to this,
I don't recall eve seeing such bliss, such joy in his eyes.
Not even on the day we got married...
And, on this optimistic note:
A VERY HAPPY 2007 TO YOU ALL!!!
Labels: Damn Technology, Wonders of The JohnnyB
