Friday, May 04, 2007
I Just Don't Get It!
Really, I don't!!
So, please help me out here.
Your husband has a birthday.
Being a lovely wife, you break your head for a long time over what to get for him. Something that will be original and unique, and yet not take too much work (as you still owe him 6 pages of the personally painted calendar you promised him for his 40th birthday last year, and as of today, he only got half of it...).
Then, one day, while being educated by the incredibly patient WebbieM on maintaining a website, you realize that her husband, CessnyZ, owns a flight school.
And you strike a great idea, and secretively, buy a gift certificate for a one-hour acrobatic flight!
It's not trivial, mind you, as this simple act of writing a check is preceded be many discussions about weight and height. As some of you know, The JohnnyB is a man of great presence, and we're talking small planes.And then, a couple of weeks later, WebbieM and CessnyZ come over for beer tasting and dinner, and after we are all wined and dined and beered, a pleasant conversation evolves, and w'all find ourselves listening - with widening eyes - to The JohnnyB's cheery anecdotes about all the damages he has caused to small planes during his travels to Australia and some unlucky Pacific islands, due to his curiosity and hobby to take apparatuses out of their place, ask "what is that?" and realize that 'that' was the engine, or something of the sort.
As this whole gift certificate is a well-kept secret, the three of us keep cringing in our seats, and I keep trying to divert the subject to the weather and art and strawberry jams (OK, I was desperate!), in order to keep the whole thing confidential, as well as prevent CessnyZ from deciding he's not going to sacrifice one of this beloved planes to the destructively inquisitive hands of The JohnnyB, who goes on and on, reminiscing to his pale audience - - -
- - - and yet, on his birthday, The JohnnyB got his gift certificate, with this highly tempting and exciting description:
Introduction to Aerial Acrobatics:
We will fly a fully acrobatic Citabria, tailwheel, tandem seating, stick control aircraft.
Your instruction will include ground instruction on the maneuvers we will perform,
safety procedures, and a full hour of flight. We will do loops, rolls, hammerheads,
stalls and spins, plus instruction in recovery from accidental upsets and unusual
We will fly a fully acrobatic Citabria, tailwheel, tandem seating, stick control aircraft.
Your instruction will include ground instruction on the maneuvers we will perform,
safety procedures, and a full hour of flight. We will do loops, rolls, hammerheads,
stalls and spins, plus instruction in recovery from accidental upsets and unusual
attitudes that could be caused by, for example, wake turbulence.
Cool, Eh?
All that took place over 3 months ago.
It was the month of January, cold and grey and rainy.
But since then, the sun has shined so many times, the skies turned Cobalt and Cerulean and Manganese blue day after day after day, the spring winds are constantly caressing the blooming flowers, short-sleeve shirts have been washed, birds are working on new arrangements to their harmonies, squirrels are starting to screw up our garden like there's no tomorrow -
- and the gift certificate is gathering cobwebs, sitting shamed and unused, filled with dust in its folds and tears in its eyes.
Like, I used the freakish birthday gift I got the very same day (and still am using it, despite the nervous breakdown it gives me each and every time!).
WebbieM and CessnyZ, mind you, are starting to raise two pairs of eyebrows in wonder:
Are you scared, The JohnnyB?
Labels: Birthday, Venting, Wonders of The JohnnyB, WTF?
# posted by Nava @ 11:20 AM 
Comments:
Well, all I know is I got in trouble, so I am now looking for more subtle ways to encourage him...
...and now he is a bit sick, so he needs tea & TLC :-)
He's sick? Why, it sounds like the PERFECT time to go a'aerial acrobating!
Come on J-B. If you lose yer lunch, you'll be able to claim 'twas teh bug and not the flight itself!
{-;
BTW, is the new avatar pornographic? It doesn't show-up on my work PC.
Aerial acrobatic flying makes me dizzy and terrified merely at the thought. I'm with johnnyB, keep procrastinating man! :)
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...and now he is a bit sick, so he needs tea & TLC :-)
Come on J-B. If you lose yer lunch, you'll be able to claim 'twas teh bug and not the flight itself!
{-;
BTW, is the new avatar pornographic? It doesn't show-up on my work PC.
