Saturday, July 28, 2007
Death of a Salesman - The Sequel
You see, we had to go back to Expo to return the carpet samples we took. We just had to. I didn't have it in me to go there on my own, so we headed there this morning, carrying the precious samples (for which you pay $25 each in case you loose/damage or are just late).
We walked in, The JohnnyB praying with increasing fervor, with all his agnostic might, that Sales Dude is having a day off. Like, it doesn't make sense that he'll work 2 Saturdays in a row, right?
Wrong.
There he was, welcoming us with a grin.
I choked the wild laughter that was starting to erupt inside me. He is, after all, like, a blog hero, and, like, without even knowing that he is, and, like, what do I do if he goes into another, like, awesome monologue? Like - Wha?
The mere thought made me snicker wildly, and I saw that The JohnnyB is also making an effort to look serious. (actually, it was easier for him, as the poor guy woke up sick, with a sore throat, and is getting more and more miserable by the hour). Eventually, I managed to go back to a relatively dignified, straight face. (not without a price, though; my bitten lips still carry the scars).
The JohnnyB handed the samples to Sales Dude, who asked, "So, did these work for you at all?".
"Not really", replied The JohnnyB.
- Sales Dude took the goods and tore a page out of the sample-taking-prospect-customers binder.
- - And Sales Dude took a deep breath.
- - - And Sales Dude said:
"So you know that our special free measurement ends tomorrow July 29 and I can - - - ""No", I cut him - quite abruptly - in mid-sentence (more like the first-millionth-of-sentence, in his case). "We decided we're not going to do it".
"Oh?", he said with utter shock.
"Yes", I confirmed (feeling a bit guilty; after all, he must have had A LOT to say, and think of all that wasted oxygen he breathed in). "So, we're all clear, right?".
"Right", he said, defeated.
"Good bye, then", I said.
And we ran. We ran out as fast as we could to the exit door, stumbling upon shiny sinks and bathtubs and carpets and tiles and chandeliers and appliances on sale and salesman who greeted us from every corner. With screeching breaks, we left the Expo plaza, accelerated onto the freeway and sped home, leaving a cloud of dust behind us, never looking back.
The JohnnyB was a bit upset with me, saying, "You didn't really have to lie to him".
Lie???
All I said was, "We decided we're not going to do it".
The pronoun "it", generally used for inanimate objects and abstractions, is a very powerful word. No wonder The Knights Who Say Ni were cringing with fear every time King Arthur used it.
'it', as used in my sentence, could be intepreted in so many ways, starting with 'we decided to not carpet our floors' (which would indeed be a lie), through 'we decided to not got for the Expo measurement' (closer to the truth), all the way to 'we decided to not have that sex-change operation after all'.
I have no control on how Sales Dude chose to interpret it, Eh?
At any rate, it's gonna be a long, long time before we go to Expo again.
Labels: Languages, People, This Old House
# posted by Nava @ 1:31 PM 
Comments:
It is a very confusing word. It could mean anything. It is Clintonesque in its duplicity. "It" and "Is". Just as it depends on what "is" is, it also depends on what "it" is. I mean, what "is" "it", after all? Even worse is what "it" isn't.
I thought you were going to kill him. After all, you named this "Death of a Salesman". False advertising!! :)
Neil, "it" "is" beautifully said. Indeed.
Rhonda, Dan, such blood thirst on such a lovely day? I meant a metaphorical death, in a professional manner. Sorry to disappoint y'all. Refunds available per special pleas.
...my bitten lips still carry the scars.
That's about the coolest sentence I've read in a week. Sehr sweet!
Glad ya decided not to do "it". 'Specially if "it" was the last. They ain't quite got that down yet. Not in even in your neighboring Bev's hills.
Oh ok maybe I jumped the gun?
Did I say gun?
I share your sentiments with salespeople.
I no like.
# posted by 
: 7/30/2007 7:01 PM
I know this will contribute nothing to this podt (which was very good, mind you), but my heart warms at you linking the use of it to the knights. There are very little people I hold in higher regard than Michael Palin (if any doubt, see my blogger photo).
MichaelBains, yeah, 'it' was just a spur of the moment. ;-)
Rhonda, what are we gonna do with all that violence in you!?
And my heart warms, Daniel, that someone has actually noticed it!! Yes, Michael Palin is among my favorites too.
btw, I have met him :)
He was giving a lecture/book-signing of Himalaya in Beverly Hills. I got there early enough to be fisrt in line, but upon getting to meet him, I was so overwhelmed I couldn't speak.
The next day I wrote a letter to him basically apologizing for my tongue-tied awkwardness. While he was too busy to reply himself, a lady named Alison Davies wrote me a very nice response in his absence.
Thank you for reminding me of it. I went and pulled the letter out, and it is quite sentimental. Reminds me of the excitement I used to possess. Again, thank you :)
# posted by : 8/01/2007 5:13 AM
And I thought you meant you met "him", as in the Sales Dude! Took me a while to figure out what you are talking about (or, more accurately, WHO).
Quite a person to meet, Michael Palin! And a wonderful souvenir, that letter.
You never know when the excitement will come back and become a possession yet again.
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Rhonda, Dan, such blood thirst on such a lovely day? I meant a metaphorical death, in a professional manner. Sorry to disappoint y'all. Refunds available per special pleas.
That's about the coolest sentence I've read in a week. Sehr sweet!
Glad ya decided not to do "it". 'Specially if "it" was the last. They ain't quite got that down yet. Not in even in your neighboring Bev's hills.
Did I say gun?
I share your sentiments with salespeople.
I no like.
# posted by : 7/30/2007 7:01 PM
: 7/30/2007 7:01 PM Rhonda, what are we gonna do with all that violence in you!?
And my heart warms, Daniel, that someone has actually noticed it!! Yes, Michael Palin is among my favorites too.
He was giving a lecture/book-signing of Himalaya in Beverly Hills. I got there early enough to be fisrt in line, but upon getting to meet him, I was so overwhelmed I couldn't speak.
The next day I wrote a letter to him basically apologizing for my tongue-tied awkwardness. While he was too busy to reply himself, a lady named Alison Davies wrote me a very nice response in his absence.
Thank you for reminding me of it. I went and pulled the letter out, and it is quite sentimental. Reminds me of the excitement I used to possess. Again, thank you :)
# posted by : 8/01/2007 5:13 AM
: 8/01/2007 5:13 AM Quite a person to meet, Michael Palin! And a wonderful souvenir, that letter.
You never know when the excitement will come back and become a possession yet again.
